Day 135. No Dosh Josh

Skyrim Tim and Tissue Pile Niall finally found their ally, an old friend of theirs. But he was no longer the man they remembered. He had transformed into a hideous distortion of himself. After university No Dosh Josh went to live in London, the rent prices so high that he literally never had any money for himself. He had also made the mistake before Uni of promising himself to get a six pack before the three years were up... he had failed. Obsessed with reaching his goal he underwent paid medical steroid trials, on top of going to the gym twice a day, the side effects of the untested drugs warping his appearance. He got so large and tense that he was unable to pull the syringes out of his back and the residue of the steroids pumped into him constantly, forever bloating the left side of his body and leaving the right side shriveled in comparison.

The two heroes found No Dosh Josh doing what he always did... doing Jebbend Jack's washing up, the remnants from his reign of tyranny still floating in the Thames. At first he was skeptical of helping them defeat Loose-cannon Liam but upon hearing the Fifa killer had decided to skip leg day at the gym, he knew he had to put Liam down for his own good, better that than face the embarrassment of bitching out. The three traveled back to Heathwood Road and the ultimate show down began. After two months of epic, unexplainable, earth shattering battle No Dosh Josh, skateboard in hand, slew Loose-cannon Liam with a swift crack to the back of the head. 

Upset that he didnt get the kill Skyrim Tim yelled "ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!". Tissue Pile Niall was upset too considering he came very close to crushing Liam under a mountain of nose-blowing tissues (that's right, tissue for blowing the nose, nothing else... just had to clear that up........ pun unintended?). No Dosh Josh was just angry because of all the steroids and quickly the three heroes turned on each other! After two more months of battle the left side of No Dosh Josh's body exploded, destroying all of Bournemouth and the three heroes to boot. 

Only one survivor crawled out of the rubble. Jebbend Jack had survived!! It turns out Loose-cannon Liam never delivered the fatal blow and Jebbend Jack had bided his time, waiting for all the other Heathwood supers to destroy themselves. Now the world was his to ruin!!!!!

....... Thankfully, two weeks later, he died from running down the stairs too fast and falling down them

Day 134. Middle-Aged Mike

As Skyrim Tim and Tissue Pile Niall scoured the world for a new ally they came across an island... or an island of a man at least. Middle-Aged Mike was found floating out on his bed somewhere in the Pacific ocean after his home was destroyed by a flood, nothing to keep him company but his laptop and an outrageous amount of hula hoops. He had survived numerous storms, refusing to leave his bed for any reason, his grip greater than that of any living thing. In fact his head has rested against his head board for so long that it has permanently become sloped. When our two hero's encountered him they found that he had been a grumpy middle-aged since the age of ten and had no interest in helping the two... or doing anything at all for that matter (many actually believe that it had something to do with the fact they were enemies of Jebbend Jack; The two had once shared latent romantic feelings towards one another, made apparent by the constant giggling and playfighting coming from Middle-Aged Mike's room). He was actually busy defending himself from various animal protection agencies who found him beating a sealion to death for taking a packet of his favourite BBQ flavoured hula hoops. The search for Skyrim Tim and Tissue Pile Niall's ally continued. 

Day 133. Tissue Pile Niall

This unlikely hero's powers stem from the same realm as Jebbend Jack's. The difference being that Tissue Pile Niall uses these powers for good.... Or so he would claim (hmmmmmmm). No one knows how or why he tears toilet paper up and places the remains scattered around the floor but it matters not. For it confuses and stuns his opponents. It confuses Loose-cannon Liam so much that even if Tissue Pile Niall defeats him at fifa he forgets all about it. Galaxy rappers and Dr. Pepper cans galore litter wherever he goes, like a calling card for justice. He had originally planned to battle Jebbend Jack with his own tsunami of random litter in an epic collision that would shake the universe but unfortunately he got caught up trying to finish a quarter of his girls size portion of spaghetti bolognese; Meanwhile Loose-cannon Liam was beating Jebbend Jack to death with one of his X Box controllers. Now he travels the world with Skyrim Tim searching for an ally to bring down the villainous Loose-cannon Liam. To remain undetected by his enemy he currently goes by his alter ego, Niall Mareesh.

Day 132. Loose-cannon Liam

Despite him being the one to kill Jebbend Jack and put an end to his reign of tyranny, the fifa induced rage  that toppled the devious deceiver never ended. It went on and on. He scoured X-box live looking to take on all comers, if his opponent was victorious he would hurl his controller out of the window with such accuracy that he could hit his target even if they were on the other side of the planet... fatally. No one knows why the remorseless killer gets so upset, maybe it's the angry, indecipherable, music that blares from his room, or perhaps because he forces himself to eat out of date food just so that no one else can have it...... all we can say is this..... lose the pretend football game if you want to live.

Day 131. Skyrim Tim

A procrastinator at such a level that he would rather chase down and stop his arch enemy, Jebbend Jack, than revise for his exams which are just next week. But at least that means he automatically gets labelled a super hero. He never sleeps, relentlessly training to become a better hero and hockey player, so much so that he has received awards for being so dedicated. It is said that his power comes from within his Hunter's snap back hat and that his life force is fed by music... primarily Macklemore and Taylor Swift. Because of this he must always travel with his laptop or he will waste away into nothingness. A secondary ability of his is the ability to kill any song... relentlessly playing it over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over......... and over again. He ties villains down and forces them to experience the music murder first hand until they too suffer the same fate. He also plays a lot of Skyrim... I guess.

Day 130. Jebbend Jack

This devilish deceiver is one of the most underhanded villains you will ever come across. He produces so much waste and leaves so many pots, pans and cutlery unwashed that the first house he lived in as a student turned into the Fresh Kills Landfill. In his second year his home became the Great Pacific Trash Vortex. Of course, he was always quick to pass the blame on to his much cleaner, intelligent, and better looking house mates. He would send disjointed text messages to the authorities claiming his innocence. Due to the sheer desperation and illegibility of the texts, he was quickly found out to be the guilty party and the beast fled into the open world to pollute and ruin it as he had his student homes. No man has produced so much waste within the confines of a kitchen as Jack and, now free to roam across the continents as he pleases, his movements are akin to a tsunami of unwashed pasta bowls and cheese graters. It is said that he is now more jebbend than man so be on your guard at all times. Thankfully you can always recognise him by the foul stench of his green hoody, grey jeans and burgundy shoes which presumably were sewn into him at birth.