Friday 10 May 2013

Day 130. Jebbend Jack


This devilish deceiver is one of the most underhanded villains you will ever come across. He produces so much waste and leaves so many pots, pans and cutlery unwashed that the first house he lived in as a student turned into the Fresh Kills Landfill. In his second year his home became the Great Pacific Trash Vortex. Of course, he was always quick to pass the blame on to his much cleaner, intelligent, and better looking house mates. He would send disjointed text messages to the authorities claiming his innocence. Due to the sheer desperation and illegibility of the texts, he was quickly found out to be the guilty party and the beast fled into the open world to pollute and ruin it as he had his student homes. No man has produced so much waste within the confines of a kitchen as Jack and, now free to roam across the continents as he pleases, his movements are akin to a tsunami of unwashed pasta bowls and cheese graters. It is said that he is now more jebbend than man so be on your guard at all times. Thankfully you can always recognise him by the foul stench of his green hoody, grey jeans and burgundy shoes which presumably were sewn into him at birth. 

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